You've got to be kidding me

July 12, 2008

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I haven't been watching any non-cable network television over the summer, so I was amazed to find out (or maybe not) via one of my RSS feeds that there was a show that debuted on Thursday called "America's Greatest Dog."

Are you fucking kidding me, people? Apparently you'll watching anything.

The RSS feed that informed me of this latest conceptual travesty was The Onion's TV Club, where the reviewer of the show gave it an F. Thank heavens for small miracles. Apparently it's the worst recycling of the "reality" format possible. I wouldn't know because I haven't watched it, and I won't. Ever.

But that won't stop me from blasting the show sight unseen, because the title of the show is AMERICA'S GREATEST DOG, for Chrissakes. This is what we want to watch on television, folks? I mean, really? A "reality" competition centering on people's goddamned pets?

Apparently so, because I learn from another RSS feed this morning that CBS won the hour with 9.5 million suckers, er, viewers. Seriously? That's more, by far, than a first-run episode of some quality network shows, like, say, "Friday Night Lights."

I've got a better title for this show: America's Greatest BULLSHIT.

That is all.

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17 comments on this post

    This is on one of the main TV channels, now?! And we have to wait until 2009 for BSG on cable TV?! WHAT IS THE WORLD COMING TO?!

    It's still worth the wait (until '09) for a proper tv show with a script written by literate folks, actors who care about what they're doing, music that is composed rather than manufactured, and visual effects that rival those of feature films. In other words, a commercial nightmare! The only DOG I can think of was the one by Gaeta's drop point on New Caprica...

    I was positive that as I read your blog it'd say the show was canceled. My jaw dropped when I saw it won the hour. Dear God in heaven.

    The real question is: What new shows are you looking forward to Jammer? Simon.

    Don't... We get so much of this shit in the UK it's not funny. Pop Idol and X Factor to find Pop Stars! Something About Maira to find a Musical Star. Last Choir Standing... I shit you not. A battle between Choirs and not the good kind with Chainsaws and Automatic Weapons. Thank God for the second series of Dexter on FX to keep me sane until Heroes starts again!

    Dan forgot to mention Big Brother, another quality show here in the UK (not). Aarrrgghhhh!

    @Dan - you're kidding right? The 2nd season of Heroes was a travesty. I don't think that I'll be able to bring myself to watch the 3rd season. Seriously, what actually happened - plot wise - through the series? What a waste of my life... I felt 'almost' as cheated after watching the last episodes of Doctor Who for this season. What a load of twaddle... Still, I don't doubt I'd rather watch substandard versions of my favourites rather than the potential for the above... BTW - When is 'Pet's Win Prizes' coming back on? :)

    The Dark Knight.... tomorrow... oh baby!!... I can't wait for that.. holy shit!!!

    Jjust ditch cable TV, it is seriously for the beyond bored. What's worse is that the "big" websites like thefutoncritic keep on having news regarding this trash, though I think they are mainly too lazy to post their own stories and just let the press releases through from anyone in the TV business. "Wow The Mole Season 6 is on! Don't miss it"

    John R!!!! Nooooooo. OK, Series 2 was pretty wishy washy but the Producers know this. I have some small hope for season 3. If not then I'll sell the TV and become a Crack Ho. Dr Who... I can't watch it. I'm embarassed for it.

    Dr Who you can't take too seriously (if at all), but it is 'entertaining' to watch. It gets bad when it does get serious. That's its own downfall. Lost 'lost' me after the start of the 3rd season. I kind of get the feeling that the writers take the p*ss out of anyone who is still watching it as they dangle an virtual carrot in front of the viewers. "It will get better... You will get answers... Honest!" Ha! I may see the start of Heroes S3 - but they have to get a really, really, really god start. Really good!

    Heroes season 3 preview looked promising. The Lost comment, "it will get better... you will get answers..." reminds me of most of this 4th season of BSG. Most people disliked the 3rd season, but I easily thought the 4th was the worst.

    You think "America's Greatest Dog" (or whatever it is) is bad--and I certainly never watched it either--it gets worse. MUCH, MUCH worse. Fox is bringing a 'new' reality show--or game show, or reality-game show, or whatever--which is, in fact, based on an old Japanese game show that, apparently, was wildly successful in several other countries, which must be why they are bringing it to America. The 'game'--I kid you not--is, the player is supposed to jump through the hole cut into a giant moving wall to score points. THAT'S IT. A giant, moving wall with an odd-shaped hole in it moves toward the player, they jump through the wall. God help us all.

    Normally I respect your opinions, but to be honest, I at least gave the show a chance before I tore it to shreads, and I found that it was actually very enjoyable summer programming. To be completely fair, I don't make any claim that it's anything other than some visual fun... If it was the only thing on TV, I'm not saying I'd be happy with TV. But as a diversion for an hour, it is a great show. It's cute, and it's full of fun, and the dogs are full of surprises (it's basically survivor, dog style). Dispite the title, it's not just worlds greatest dog, but also worlds greatest owner. They look at how to properly train the dogs and what are appropriate and inappropriate means of encouraging the dogs to do things (for example, the judges do kick off dogs that perform better, but only because their owners acted threatening and aggressive). I also laughed my ass off at the ad for the "hole in the wall" show, but that doesn't mean I won't check out an episode and see how bad it is before deciding. I think Greatest Dog is on the same page as MXC and the ABC transplant, Wipeout. It's not "make you think" tv. It's just make you laugh and feel good TV, and sometimes you want to just relax and watch that kind of stuff in between the Lost and The Office.

    First of all, the 2nd season of heroes was great. Next, this show should have been titled America's Next Top Dog, and I have never been nearly bored enough at any time in my life to watch a show about dogs.

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